Understanding myself

I am hoping that I can type out my feelings about my life and understand it better.

It is March 2012 and I will be turning 60 soon. My job in sales that I have had for the past 4 years is stressing me alot because of how my hours have gone down and my checks are so small. I have been blessed by God with groceries and money. But still when I think about the future and what I should do I get very stressed. I know that I am good right now it is just very scary to me what will happy tomorrow. I know God is in control and yet I let my thoughts scare me.

I pulled away from the guy I was seeing. And I almost got carried away by a gone who contacted me on the internet. I want a guy of my own to share my life with, at least I think I do but I have realized that I tend to loose my self in a guy and I do not really want to do that any more.

So here I am trying to understand What do I really want in this life.

So here goes; I want to live in peace and harmony, I want to love myself and others, I want to let go of all fears and completely trust God. To live each moment and let go of the past and future. To be happy with what I have and let go and trust God with all those nagging wants. To stop beating myself up for all my mistakes.

So my goal is to start writing out my feelings in the hope that my life will be more at peace.

I want to follow wear I am lead and be all that I can be.

so the journey moves on